Thursday, October 20, 2011
Not a Loud Mouth Mom: A Year in the Life of a New Mother
Not a Loud Mouth Mom: A Year in the Life of a New Mother: On the way to dinner, "pre-baby" The day after Calleigh was born: I am lying in the hospital bed, thumbing through a People Magazine a...
A Year in the Life of a New Mother
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| On the way to dinner, "pre-baby" |
Feelings of terror and sheer panic flood through my typically (pre-baby) calm mind.
A week after Calleigh is born: I am feeling calm, confident, and well-rested, as we were fortunate to have a baby nurse live with us and educate us for a week an a half. Little do I realize that this is the "calm before the storm". Unfortunately, some people attempt to tell me that. Fortunately, I am in a state of denial.
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| An angel in whites: Shantee, baby nurse |
Stay tuned, until tomorrow, as the journey continues....
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Not a Loud Mouth Mom: Quinoa Chili
Not a Loud Mouth Mom: Quinoa Chili: This dish is healthy, hearty, delicious, and (best of all) easy to cook! The fluffy texture of the quinoa (pronounced "keen-wah") complement...
Quinoa Chili
This dish is healthy, hearty, delicious, and (best of all) easy to cook! The fluffy texture of the quinoa (pronounced "keen-wah") complements the crunchy/grainy texture of the beans and the sweetness of the corn and tomatoes. I usually prepare this dish on a lazy (if a lazy is possible with a toddler ambling about!) Sunday afternoon.
Quinoa Chili
2 tablespoons oil
1 large onion, chopped
2 to 3 carrots, chopped
2 to 3 stalks of celery, chopped
1 tablespoon cumin
2 tablespoons chili powder
2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes
14 ounces black beans, drained and rinsed
14 ounces pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 large onion, chopped
2 to 3 carrots, chopped
2 to 3 stalks of celery, chopped
1 tablespoon cumin
2 tablespoons chili powder
2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes
14 ounces black beans, drained and rinsed
14 ounces pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 package of frozen sweet kernel corn
1 cup quinoa
2 cup vegetable broth
salt and pepper to taste
avocado and cilantro, to garnish
Directions:
1) Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Saute onions, carrots, and celery until soft, about 5 minutes. Add cumin and garlic, and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
2) Pour can of tomatoes into saucepan. Cook 1 minute, then stir in beans and corn. Bring to a boil, then stir in broth and quinoa.
3) Cover and cook over medium heat until quinoa is tender, about 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste and serve topped with fresh avocado and cilantro.
1 cup quinoa
2 cup vegetable broth
salt and pepper to taste
avocado and cilantro, to garnish
Directions:
1) Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Saute onions, carrots, and celery until soft, about 5 minutes. Add cumin and garlic, and saute until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
2) Pour can of tomatoes into saucepan. Cook 1 minute, then stir in beans and corn. Bring to a boil, then stir in broth and quinoa.
3) Cover and cook over medium heat until quinoa is tender, about 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste and serve topped with fresh avocado and cilantro.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Quick, Easy, Delicious Meal (Nutritious too!)
Vegetable Tortellini White Bean Soup
- 2 1/2 tablespoons canola oil
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 2 cloves of garlic
- 1/2 "box" of vegetable broth
- 3 cups water
- 1 can (14.5 ounces) of chopped tomatoes
- 1 bag (16 ounces) of Birdseye Steam Fresh Vegetables (I typically use fresh vegetables when cooking; however, when time is of the essence, frozen vegetables will suffice)
- 1 can kidney beans
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 1 bag cheese tortellini (frozen)
Directions
1. In a large pot, heat the oil over medium heat and add the garlic and onion. Saute for 2 minutes, then add the vegetable broth and 3 cups of water.
2. Add all of the remaining ingredients, except the tortellini.
3. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat and let simmer for 5 minutes.
4. Add the tortellini and simmer until the tortellini are cooked (approximately 5 minutes).
5. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.
6. Serve and enjoy!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Having the Courage to Do What's Best
When Calleigh was about four and a half months old, she started rolling around in her crib and waking...every...five..minutes...literally...
So how did Josh and I respond?
We would go into Calleigh's room, pick her up from the crib, and rock her back to sleep.
How did Calleigh respond?
She started waking up every time we placed her back in the crib. Now her response time was shortened to thirty seconds. Yes, THIRTY SECONDS!
As excited as Josh and I were that our baby continued to progress and reach developmental milestones (e.g., rolling), sleep deprivation began to take a toll on our physical and mental health. We even moved a bed into Calleigh's room so I could "pop up" in the middle of the night and soothe Calleigh without waking Josh. (That, by the way, was my idea, not Josh's....not once did he complain that he was tired and had to work a zillion hour work week)...Our method was clearly not working; however, we did not feel comfortable with the idea of letting Calleigh "cry it out". The hours melted into days...the circles under our eyes darkened...the desire for a few ("pleaaase just a few hours of sleep", I would secretly plead) hours of sleep deepened...We were literally exhausted...and then...
Josh and I spent our first night away from Calleigh. [The concept of being away from my baby elicited a tremendous amount of anxiety within me. Before I gave birth to our daughter, I never could have imagined how challenging the prospect would be for me. But Josh and I went away and I savored and enjoyed every luxurious second of the quick getaway....More about our mini vacation in a future post...]
I drafted a FIFTEEN PAGE (how embarrassing) manifesto of sorts for my father to follow as he baby sat for Calleigh. (It's important to note that my parents raised three successful, well-adjusted women without my manifesto). Outlined, highlighted, and capitalized, a repetitive phrase stated, "DO NOT LET CALLEIGH CRY IN HER CRIB"...
Josh and I returned from our overnight trip and my father happily reported that Calleigh slept through the night-- nine hours straight--no crying, no rocking needed. "Wow! You really are the baby whisperer" we exclaimed. "What is the secret?" My father reluctantly responded, "Well.....she would fall asleep in my arms and then as soon as I would put her in the crib she would cry..." He paused. We waited with our breath held..He continued.."So I sat next to her crib and let her cry until she fell asleep." I felt numb (dramatic response, I know)..."But what about the notes I wrote you?!" I asked incredulously. Josh jumped in, "well she slept through the night, right?" Well...he did have a point....
The next night, Josh and I put Calleigh to sleep. Within two minutes, she was crying...I pleaded to Josh that we should wait a few weeks and devote an entire weekend to the Ferber method....After twenty-two trips up and down the stairs to pick Calleigh up, rock her back to sleep, put her back in the crib, only to have her wake up a minute later, Josh said, "I am going in and doing it"...and he disappeared up the stairwell.
I, on the other hand, weakly hid in the basement, called my mother, and sobbed into the phone. Now THAT's drama. (Aunt Natalie, you are correct, tears should be saved for "big things"....I've experienced enough "big/heavy things" in my life that warranted tears. This situation was not one of them. But something took over. Anxiety? Motherly instinct? I am not sure what it was, but whatever it was caused me to cry. A lot.)
Several minutes passed and Josh returned downstairs. I clicked on the monitor to see that Calleigh was sleeping. We waited. And waited. And guess what? Calleigh slept through the night again!
I am grateful that my father had the courage to follow his instinct, that Josh had the courage to develop our own method of sleep training, and that my mother had the courage (and wherewith all) not to dissolve into laughter as I sobbed into the phone...In other words, they all had the courage to do not what was easier, but what was best.
So how did Josh and I respond?
We would go into Calleigh's room, pick her up from the crib, and rock her back to sleep.
How did Calleigh respond?
She started waking up every time we placed her back in the crib. Now her response time was shortened to thirty seconds. Yes, THIRTY SECONDS!
As excited as Josh and I were that our baby continued to progress and reach developmental milestones (e.g., rolling), sleep deprivation began to take a toll on our physical and mental health. We even moved a bed into Calleigh's room so I could "pop up" in the middle of the night and soothe Calleigh without waking Josh. (That, by the way, was my idea, not Josh's....not once did he complain that he was tired and had to work a zillion hour work week)...Our method was clearly not working; however, we did not feel comfortable with the idea of letting Calleigh "cry it out". The hours melted into days...the circles under our eyes darkened...the desire for a few ("pleaaase just a few hours of sleep", I would secretly plead) hours of sleep deepened...We were literally exhausted...and then...
Josh and I spent our first night away from Calleigh. [The concept of being away from my baby elicited a tremendous amount of anxiety within me. Before I gave birth to our daughter, I never could have imagined how challenging the prospect would be for me. But Josh and I went away and I savored and enjoyed every luxurious second of the quick getaway....More about our mini vacation in a future post...]
I drafted a FIFTEEN PAGE (how embarrassing) manifesto of sorts for my father to follow as he baby sat for Calleigh. (It's important to note that my parents raised three successful, well-adjusted women without my manifesto). Outlined, highlighted, and capitalized, a repetitive phrase stated, "DO NOT LET CALLEIGH CRY IN HER CRIB"...
Josh and I returned from our overnight trip and my father happily reported that Calleigh slept through the night-- nine hours straight--no crying, no rocking needed. "Wow! You really are the baby whisperer" we exclaimed. "What is the secret?" My father reluctantly responded, "Well.....she would fall asleep in my arms and then as soon as I would put her in the crib she would cry..." He paused. We waited with our breath held..He continued.."So I sat next to her crib and let her cry until she fell asleep." I felt numb (dramatic response, I know)..."But what about the notes I wrote you?!" I asked incredulously. Josh jumped in, "well she slept through the night, right?" Well...he did have a point....
The next night, Josh and I put Calleigh to sleep. Within two minutes, she was crying...I pleaded to Josh that we should wait a few weeks and devote an entire weekend to the Ferber method....After twenty-two trips up and down the stairs to pick Calleigh up, rock her back to sleep, put her back in the crib, only to have her wake up a minute later, Josh said, "I am going in and doing it"...and he disappeared up the stairwell.
I, on the other hand, weakly hid in the basement, called my mother, and sobbed into the phone. Now THAT's drama. (Aunt Natalie, you are correct, tears should be saved for "big things"....I've experienced enough "big/heavy things" in my life that warranted tears. This situation was not one of them. But something took over. Anxiety? Motherly instinct? I am not sure what it was, but whatever it was caused me to cry. A lot.)
Several minutes passed and Josh returned downstairs. I clicked on the monitor to see that Calleigh was sleeping. We waited. And waited. And guess what? Calleigh slept through the night again!
I am grateful that my father had the courage to follow his instinct, that Josh had the courage to develop our own method of sleep training, and that my mother had the courage (and wherewith all) not to dissolve into laughter as I sobbed into the phone...In other words, they all had the courage to do not what was easier, but what was best.
Calleigh rolling over for the second time in her crib
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Six Months Already!
What's Cooking
Since some have been asking for several of my recipes, I decided that every so often, I will post some of the meals that I've prepared for the week. If you would like any of recipes for the meals listed, please let me know!
Monday: Spaghetti Squash Casserole
Tuesday: Vegetarian Meatless Loaf (eww "loaf" is such a gross word)/ Quinoa and Broccoli
Wednesday: Tomato Rotini Soup/ Spinach, Broccoli and Tofu Quiche
Thursday: Roasted Vegetables with Fresh Mozzarella/ Ravioli with Asparagus Tips, Peas, and Spinach, Sauteed with Olive Oil and Garlic
Bon Appetit!
Monday: Spaghetti Squash Casserole
Tuesday: Vegetarian Meatless Loaf (eww "loaf" is such a gross word)/ Quinoa and Broccoli
Wednesday: Tomato Rotini Soup/ Spinach, Broccoli and Tofu Quiche
Thursday: Roasted Vegetables with Fresh Mozzarella/ Ravioli with Asparagus Tips, Peas, and Spinach, Sauteed with Olive Oil and Garlic
Bon Appetit!
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| Spaghetti Squash Casserole |
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
What I've Learned Thus Far....
Okay, I will admit it. I have the tendency to over analyze EVERYTHING. In fact, I am now over thinking the fact that I over analyze every situation. That personality characteristic fosters discipline and motivation; however, the tendency to over analyze can also be a liability. What is a blessing can also, at times, be a curse... Especially during the first few months that I became a mother. Now that Calleigh is almost six months old (young?), I've learned to settle down, hang back a bit, and be more gentle on myself.
If I could transport myself back to October 1, 2010 (the day Calleigh was born), I would share the following tidbits of advice with the terrified, excited, and overwhelmed new mother (myself, obviously):
If I could transport myself back to October 1, 2010 (the day Calleigh was born), I would share the following tidbits of advice with the terrified, excited, and overwhelmed new mother (myself, obviously):
- You are going to make mistakes, and IT IS OKAY!
- Your parents know more than you might think (sheepish grin). Take their advice.
- Don't listen to anyone who says having a newborn is easy. He/she is either lying or forgetting. As grateful as you are for being given the chance to have a child, it can be overwhelming, challenging, and difficult. Shed some tears, guilt-free.
- Things will get easier.
- You will love your daughter with every fiber of your being. You will never understand the feeling and connection until you experience it.
- As trite as it might sound, time really does fly. It will seem to accelerate now that you have a baby. Enjoy every. single. moment.
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| Calleigh, minutes after she was born, with Dr. Prince |
Monday, March 21, 2011
How Far We've Come
Years ago, when I was constantly feeling sick and searching for a diagnosis, I began jotting down anecdotes with the plan that I would publish the information in a blog. Years later, I (obviously) now started writing a blog, but about a much different topic than I had planned to address years ago.
April 13, 2009
...I am trying to embrace my painful, swollen midsection at this moment, but on some level, I am beginning to feel betrayed by my body. My feelings oscillate from acceptance to anger; peace to fear...I am trying to understand that the pain, indigestion, bloating, and inability to obtain a diagnosis is temporary. At times, I lose sight of that and begin to feel sorry for myself. That sorrow, however, is fleeting. I remind myself to keep my chin up, my shoulders back , chest out, and swollen belly gently nestled in a comfortable pair of lounge pants.
The answer will soon come....
UNDATED ENTRY, JUST PRIOR TO SECOND SURGERY
...Sometimes, when I look at Josh, I feel a deep, deep pang of sadness as I reflect on the possible outcomes..Will the surgery leave me infertile, thereby betraying the idea/dream/vision we had (but never discussed with a time line) of creating children together? It starts as a glance, a thought filled with love and admiration...I think, "How I love his dark, shiny, jet black hair...I wonder if our children will have dark hair like th.." and mid-thought, the fantasy is hijacked by the notion that perhaps we will not be able to create life between us....
Oh, how things have changed!
April 13, 2009
...I am trying to embrace my painful, swollen midsection at this moment, but on some level, I am beginning to feel betrayed by my body. My feelings oscillate from acceptance to anger; peace to fear...I am trying to understand that the pain, indigestion, bloating, and inability to obtain a diagnosis is temporary. At times, I lose sight of that and begin to feel sorry for myself. That sorrow, however, is fleeting. I remind myself to keep my chin up, my shoulders back , chest out, and swollen belly gently nestled in a comfortable pair of lounge pants.
The answer will soon come....
UNDATED ENTRY, JUST PRIOR TO SECOND SURGERY
...Sometimes, when I look at Josh, I feel a deep, deep pang of sadness as I reflect on the possible outcomes..Will the surgery leave me infertile, thereby betraying the idea/dream/vision we had (but never discussed with a time line) of creating children together? It starts as a glance, a thought filled with love and admiration...I think, "How I love his dark, shiny, jet black hair...I wonder if our children will have dark hair like th.." and mid-thought, the fantasy is hijacked by the notion that perhaps we will not be able to create life between us....
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| And then there were three |
Friday, March 18, 2011
The New Life
November, just weeks after Calleigh was born. I was feeling (and acting) weepy--not a feeling that I, as a typically upbeat and optimistic person was accustomed to experiencing. Scratch that, I wasn't weeping, I was sobbing. The type of sobbing that doesn't look attractive on any person. (More about the sobbing/weeping in a future post). Josh was still getting ready for work, and he innocently asked, "Are you okay? What 's wrong?" "Mbluhblubbab Mubballla" I sobbed, trying to form intelligible sentences..I took a deep breath..."I feel awful admitting this, but I miss 'us'..I miss our old life..I miss feeling normal...." I finally stated. Silence. Fear struck my heart..would Josh think I was a "bad mother"? What was he about to announce? He gathered me into his arms, sat me quietly down and said, "whatever you are experiencing and feeling right now is normal. You just had a baby..it is okay to cry..your hormones are all over the place (side note: Poor guy)...for short time, this is our new normal..this is our new life..this is the new 'us'". With that, I began to reflect on ways life has changed (and I wouldn't have it any other way):
* I clap and am excited when a burp happens, even if the burp erupts in my face (Calleigh's burp of course, not Josh's).
* I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying in on Friday nights, curling up on the couch (previously never could sit still long enough to do so), and catching up with my husband.
* I don't fret if I cannot workout seven days a week. Which, in retrospect, I now recognize is perhaps compulsive? (I am happy that I exercise five days a week now).
* Road Rage-GONE!
* A teeny tiny sing song voice from across the hall is my wake up call.
* The house smells like baby. I can't think of another way to describe the sweet, soft scent of a baby.
I am grateful for so much, including:
* The chubby and soft hands that graze my face as I hold Calleigh in my arms.
* The way Calleigh's arms and legs flail with excitement when I walk into her room to pick her up from her crib.
* The fact that each day, Calleigh is learning and growing more and more, and each new discovery brings her joy and delight.
* Calleigh's love for life. The sparkle in her eye. The laugh that starts as "heh heh heh" and escalates into hysterics when I blow raspberries on her belly.
* The look Calleigh gives me when she is playing independently. She glances at me for reassurance and then quickly returns to her activity.
The list could go on and on; however, I am not sure if mere words can adequately express the deep gratitude that I have for being healthy and for being given the opportunity to bear a child. To quote lyrics from the song To Zion: ...I thank you for choosing me..to come unto life to be..a beautiful reflection of his grace.." I am thankful for being given the opportunity to be Calleigh's mother...Calleigh, you already have brought such joy to our new life.
* I clap and am excited when a burp happens, even if the burp erupts in my face (Calleigh's burp of course, not Josh's).
* I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying in on Friday nights, curling up on the couch (previously never could sit still long enough to do so), and catching up with my husband.
* I don't fret if I cannot workout seven days a week. Which, in retrospect, I now recognize is perhaps compulsive? (I am happy that I exercise five days a week now).
* Road Rage-GONE!
* A teeny tiny sing song voice from across the hall is my wake up call.
* The house smells like baby. I can't think of another way to describe the sweet, soft scent of a baby.
I am grateful for so much, including:
* The chubby and soft hands that graze my face as I hold Calleigh in my arms.
* The way Calleigh's arms and legs flail with excitement when I walk into her room to pick her up from her crib.
* The fact that each day, Calleigh is learning and growing more and more, and each new discovery brings her joy and delight.
* Calleigh's love for life. The sparkle in her eye. The laugh that starts as "heh heh heh" and escalates into hysterics when I blow raspberries on her belly.
* The look Calleigh gives me when she is playing independently. She glances at me for reassurance and then quickly returns to her activity.
The list could go on and on; however, I am not sure if mere words can adequately express the deep gratitude that I have for being healthy and for being given the opportunity to bear a child. To quote lyrics from the song To Zion: ...I thank you for choosing me..to come unto life to be..a beautiful reflection of his grace.." I am thankful for being given the opportunity to be Calleigh's mother...Calleigh, you already have brought such joy to our new life.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The best lesson learned from the worst advice given
I received the worst advice from a duck...well, not quite a duck, but a euphemism for a pediatrician who doled out what I believe to be harmful advice.
I am eternally grateful that my parents (especially my father) intervened, and that a friend offered her opinion.
Here's a recap: I was exhausted, emotional, excited, nervous, and experiencing a tremendous amount of pain when Josh, Shantee, and I arrived for Calleigh's first pediatrician visit. The excitement and anticipation of Calleigh's first appointment outweighed the anxiety. I am now slightly embarrassed to admit that I even dressed up for the occasion (insert sheepish grin).
As soon as the doctor entered the treatment room, he asked if we purchased a sleep positioner. "Yes, we did.." I replied.."..however, an alert was issued that the positioners were recently recalled so we returned it..." Suspicion immediately arose in my mind...didn't the doctor review current medical literature? I internally chided myself for being "neurotic"..."must've been a slight oversight.." I convinced myself...The doctor looked visibly annoyed and replied, "Anyway...can I see your feeding charts?" I felt like a proud child sharing an art project with a parent..The doctor looked at the chart and stated dismissively, "She's eating too much..." as he quickly tossed the charts on my diaper bag...Too much?! 1.5 ounces every two hours?! What was I doing incorrectly? I have a typical type A personality, so I always am looking to do "the right thing"... The doctor then weighed Calleigh, announcing "she weighs 8.2 pounds"....Josh and I shared a pleased glance...Yay!! Our baby was gaining weight!! The doctor interjected.."she's gaining weight too fast"...Which in my mind translated to : "you have no idea what you are doing"...The pediatrician went on to describe a convoluted plan to "stretch" the time between Calleigh's feedings....if she displayed signs of hunger before the 3-4 hour mark (keep in mind, at this point, Calleigh was six days old) we were instructed to "distract" Calleigh by giving her a pacifier, rocking her, "shushing" her, etc...Being the eternal "good students" that Josh and I are, we vowed to each other that we would stick to the doctor's orders and plans.
The next few weeks, we started to notice that Calleigh was crying and screaming more than she previously had been. At times, she was inconsolable. I called the doctor and asked if perhaps the plan was too strict for a baby of Calleigh's age. "No..." the doctor insisted..."Stick with the plan..SHE HAS TO LEARN" (Side Note:I now know that the only thing a baby will learn at that age if parents ignore her crying is that her needs will not be met...Each baby's needs are variable, and all of the literature cited by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) affirms the notion that newborns should feed "on demand". Further, the AAP notes that infants should not be placed on feeding schedules, and that they should be fed as soon as they show signs of hunger, including, but not limited to: mouthing, rooting, and crying..all signs that the pediatrician advised that we mask until the 3-4 hour mark was reached).
The hours stretched into days, and Calleigh's crying and screaming continued. What I envisioned and hoped to be a happy and joyful time became stressful and exhausting. My parents kept suggesting (first gently, and then more loudly) that we feed Calleigh more. I became defensive and accused them of overfeeding Calleigh. My father announced that if I were continue to deprive Calleigh of her bottles ("But the doctor says...!" I'd protest), he was going to dissociate from us. I began to realize that friends would exchange looks and recommend that I feed Calleigh. I saw looks of concern cloud their faces when I would remark that it was not yet four hours between feedings. Finally, one fateful Saturday night, when Calleigh was a month old, Jennifer and Jason Saltzman visited for dinner. Calleigh was screaming and crying. Jennifer, a speech pathologist, stated: "She's hungry..she's rooting.."Josh and I replied that it had only been three hours since Calleigh's last feeding. Jen quietly persisted.."She is too young to be on a strict schedule like that..I think you should feed her.." For those of you do not know Jen, you should be aware how powerful those words were coming from her mouth, as Jen is not the type to judge or pontificate. I finally woke up...I was not listening to my parents' advice, I was not following my instincts...I was blindly following the words of the pediatrician.
After researching the topic (of course, I needed concrete evidence), I learned that imposing such strict feeding regimens on newborns is not only foolish, but dangerous as well. According to the AAP, following such advice can lead to "...dehydration and failure to thrive..." among other things...
I am grateful to report that once we began to feed Calleigh as soon as she displayed signs of hunger, she returned to her usual happy and easy-going personality. I finally understood what it meant to feel as if a weight were lifted off of one's shoulders..I could breathe again...and, oh, we changed pediatricians...
The bottom line is: always trust your instincts.
I am eternally grateful that my parents (especially my father) intervened, and that a friend offered her opinion.
Here's a recap: I was exhausted, emotional, excited, nervous, and experiencing a tremendous amount of pain when Josh, Shantee, and I arrived for Calleigh's first pediatrician visit. The excitement and anticipation of Calleigh's first appointment outweighed the anxiety. I am now slightly embarrassed to admit that I even dressed up for the occasion (insert sheepish grin).
As soon as the doctor entered the treatment room, he asked if we purchased a sleep positioner. "Yes, we did.." I replied.."..however, an alert was issued that the positioners were recently recalled so we returned it..." Suspicion immediately arose in my mind...didn't the doctor review current medical literature? I internally chided myself for being "neurotic"..."must've been a slight oversight.." I convinced myself...The doctor looked visibly annoyed and replied, "Anyway...can I see your feeding charts?" I felt like a proud child sharing an art project with a parent..The doctor looked at the chart and stated dismissively, "She's eating too much..." as he quickly tossed the charts on my diaper bag...Too much?! 1.5 ounces every two hours?! What was I doing incorrectly? I have a typical type A personality, so I always am looking to do "the right thing"... The doctor then weighed Calleigh, announcing "she weighs 8.2 pounds"....Josh and I shared a pleased glance...Yay!! Our baby was gaining weight!! The doctor interjected.."she's gaining weight too fast"...Which in my mind translated to : "you have no idea what you are doing"...The pediatrician went on to describe a convoluted plan to "stretch" the time between Calleigh's feedings....if she displayed signs of hunger before the 3-4 hour mark (keep in mind, at this point, Calleigh was six days old) we were instructed to "distract" Calleigh by giving her a pacifier, rocking her, "shushing" her, etc...Being the eternal "good students" that Josh and I are, we vowed to each other that we would stick to the doctor's orders and plans.
The next few weeks, we started to notice that Calleigh was crying and screaming more than she previously had been. At times, she was inconsolable. I called the doctor and asked if perhaps the plan was too strict for a baby of Calleigh's age. "No..." the doctor insisted..."Stick with the plan..SHE HAS TO LEARN" (Side Note:I now know that the only thing a baby will learn at that age if parents ignore her crying is that her needs will not be met...Each baby's needs are variable, and all of the literature cited by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) affirms the notion that newborns should feed "on demand". Further, the AAP notes that infants should not be placed on feeding schedules, and that they should be fed as soon as they show signs of hunger, including, but not limited to: mouthing, rooting, and crying..all signs that the pediatrician advised that we mask until the 3-4 hour mark was reached).
The hours stretched into days, and Calleigh's crying and screaming continued. What I envisioned and hoped to be a happy and joyful time became stressful and exhausting. My parents kept suggesting (first gently, and then more loudly) that we feed Calleigh more. I became defensive and accused them of overfeeding Calleigh. My father announced that if I were continue to deprive Calleigh of her bottles ("But the doctor says...!" I'd protest), he was going to dissociate from us. I began to realize that friends would exchange looks and recommend that I feed Calleigh. I saw looks of concern cloud their faces when I would remark that it was not yet four hours between feedings. Finally, one fateful Saturday night, when Calleigh was a month old, Jennifer and Jason Saltzman visited for dinner. Calleigh was screaming and crying. Jennifer, a speech pathologist, stated: "She's hungry..she's rooting.."Josh and I replied that it had only been three hours since Calleigh's last feeding. Jen quietly persisted.."She is too young to be on a strict schedule like that..I think you should feed her.." For those of you do not know Jen, you should be aware how powerful those words were coming from her mouth, as Jen is not the type to judge or pontificate. I finally woke up...I was not listening to my parents' advice, I was not following my instincts...I was blindly following the words of the pediatrician.
After researching the topic (of course, I needed concrete evidence), I learned that imposing such strict feeding regimens on newborns is not only foolish, but dangerous as well. According to the AAP, following such advice can lead to "...dehydration and failure to thrive..." among other things...
I am grateful to report that once we began to feed Calleigh as soon as she displayed signs of hunger, she returned to her usual happy and easy-going personality. I finally understood what it meant to feel as if a weight were lifted off of one's shoulders..I could breathe again...and, oh, we changed pediatricians...
The bottom line is: always trust your instincts.
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| Jen and Jason Saltzman |
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| Calleigh as a newborn, finally eating on demand |
Thursday, March 10, 2011
And so it begins...
Today is my first post as a Mom Blogger. To clarify the title of my blog, there is a difference between being bold, and being a loud mouth. Since I've become a parent, I've noticed that for the most part, other parents are supportive of each other. But every so often, I've encountered the type of Mom I don't want to be: a know it all, opinionated, judgmental mother. In other words, a loud mouth Mom.
I've never experienced anything as rewarding and simultaneously confusing as parenting. Every topic to be discussed is polarizing...Let the baby cry it out vs. pick him/her up to nurture...use bumpers vs. what are you crazy, there should be nothing in the crib...breastfeeding (barbaric and creepy?) vs. bottle feeding (cold and detached?)..and so it goes
I look forward to sharing the journey with you
I've never experienced anything as rewarding and simultaneously confusing as parenting. Every topic to be discussed is polarizing...Let the baby cry it out vs. pick him/her up to nurture...use bumpers vs. what are you crazy, there should be nothing in the crib...breastfeeding (barbaric and creepy?) vs. bottle feeding (cold and detached?)..and so it goes
I look forward to sharing the journey with you
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