So how did Josh and I respond?
We would go into Calleigh's room, pick her up from the crib, and rock her back to sleep.
How did Calleigh respond?
She started waking up every time we placed her back in the crib. Now her response time was shortened to thirty seconds. Yes, THIRTY SECONDS!
As excited as Josh and I were that our baby continued to progress and reach developmental milestones (e.g., rolling), sleep deprivation began to take a toll on our physical and mental health. We even moved a bed into Calleigh's room so I could "pop up" in the middle of the night and soothe Calleigh without waking Josh. (That, by the way, was my idea, not Josh's....not once did he complain that he was tired and had to work a zillion hour work week)...Our method was clearly not working; however, we did not feel comfortable with the idea of letting Calleigh "cry it out". The hours melted into days...the circles under our eyes darkened...the desire for a few ("pleaaase just a few hours of sleep", I would secretly plead) hours of sleep deepened...We were literally exhausted...and then...
Josh and I spent our first night away from Calleigh. [The concept of being away from my baby elicited a tremendous amount of anxiety within me. Before I gave birth to our daughter, I never could have imagined how challenging the prospect would be for me. But Josh and I went away and I savored and enjoyed every luxurious second of the quick getaway....More about our mini vacation in a future post...]
I drafted a FIFTEEN PAGE (how embarrassing) manifesto of sorts for my father to follow as he baby sat for Calleigh. (It's important to note that my parents raised three successful, well-adjusted women without my manifesto). Outlined, highlighted, and capitalized, a repetitive phrase stated, "DO NOT LET CALLEIGH CRY IN HER CRIB"...
Josh and I returned from our overnight trip and my father happily reported that Calleigh slept through the night-- nine hours straight--no crying, no rocking needed. "Wow! You really are the baby whisperer" we exclaimed. "What is the secret?" My father reluctantly responded, "Well.....she would fall asleep in my arms and then as soon as I would put her in the crib she would cry..." He paused. We waited with our breath held..He continued.."So I sat next to her crib and let her cry until she fell asleep." I felt numb (dramatic response, I know)..."But what about the notes I wrote you?!" I asked incredulously. Josh jumped in, "well she slept through the night, right?" Well...he did have a point....
The next night, Josh and I put Calleigh to sleep. Within two minutes, she was crying...I pleaded to Josh that we should wait a few weeks and devote an entire weekend to the Ferber method....After twenty-two trips up and down the stairs to pick Calleigh up, rock her back to sleep, put her back in the crib, only to have her wake up a minute later, Josh said, "I am going in and doing it"...and he disappeared up the stairwell.
I, on the other hand, weakly hid in the basement, called my mother, and sobbed into the phone. Now THAT's drama. (Aunt Natalie, you are correct, tears should be saved for "big things"....I've experienced enough "big/heavy things" in my life that warranted tears. This situation was not one of them. But something took over. Anxiety? Motherly instinct? I am not sure what it was, but whatever it was caused me to cry. A lot.)
Several minutes passed and Josh returned downstairs. I clicked on the monitor to see that Calleigh was sleeping. We waited. And waited. And guess what? Calleigh slept through the night again!
I am grateful that my father had the courage to follow his instinct, that Josh had the courage to develop our own method of sleep training, and that my mother had the courage (and wherewith all) not to dissolve into laughter as I sobbed into the phone...In other words, they all had the courage to do not what was easier, but what was best.
Calleigh rolling over for the second time in her crib
